My Grandfather was a gentleman.
He stood when others entered the room.
He opened doors for others.
He removed his hat indoors.
He spoke quietly and thoughtfully.
He worked diligently, quietly, and without desire for praise or notice.
He controlled his emotions.
He was honest and upright in everything he did.
This is what I have grown up to interpret as gentlemanly conduct. These are things that I would eventually like to master and use to shape my own life. When I joined Freemasonry, I thought that it would be filled with true Gentlemen. Or at least, men striving toward that goal. After all, the Craft is an ancient Fraternity once filled with stately, noble, well-mannered men (at least, that's how it's portrayed).
Upon joining I realized the folly of that expectation.
First and foremost, Freemasonry is up for much personal interpretation. Just because I want certain things from the Craft, that doesn't mean that others want the same thing. Just because I want solemn, strict, and exact etiquette and behaviors, that doesn't mean that others do too.
Secondly, the hope for such a thing was something of my own creation. There was never any indication or intimation that what I was hoping for (those attributes of my Grandfather) was ever a goal (stated or not) of the Fraternity. In other words, I invented a romanticized view of Freemasonry that was never really based on reality.
I haven't been a member for long (a Master Mason since November 27th), but in the meetings I have attended, I've been a little disappointed. Brothers addressing the Worshipful Master by his first name in open lodge...blurting out in lodge (without waiting for acknowledgement by the WM), joking and snickering during degree work...things like that.
That's not to say that it's all bad, there are good men in my lodge.
It's not my place to try to force my views on others, but I can certainly force myself to follow whatever Masonic etiquette that I may learn.
I can only do my best and hope that my brothers find something useful thereby.
